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I was having great difficulty.
Just experiencing Katrina and its devastation has been torturous
enough,
but second guessing the whole spiritual experience has been
a test for me. |
The Guardian
evolved over a two year period. She began innocently enough.
We were building a swimming pool on Beach Blvd. in Waveland, Mississippi.
Our beach house was an idyllic retreat. As
we added the pool to the mix, ideas of a grand sculpture piece was a
natural for me. I clearly could see a fairy-type figure, lazing away
her days, gazing out at the beach and gulf.
I started thinking of a guardian, fairy-godmother - a
symbol of protection. I knew she was more than whimsy. A year and half
into working on this sculpture, I named her "the Guardian."
She was to sit on Waveland's Beach Blvd. at our coastline and guard
us from nature's storms. When I say that now, it's all gone, and it's
harsh — very hard.
Weeks after
naming her, I participated in a guided meditation where I had a gateway
to traverse. Guess who was there? My sculpture piece had come to life
in my imagination! She helped me through that doorway to a higher state.
Afterwards in a discussion of the meditation, the speaker referred to
this "being" that helped us as "the Guardian." Imagine
my thrill! I had named the piece before this ... and then the name was
validated in meditation. It was beautiful. It tied this work into my
spiritual life so boldly, showing me that this piece was bigger than
anything I had done, literally and spiritually. I had seen many of my
sculptures in meditation, but never with this naming phenomenon.
My sculpture installation in Waveland was to be August
30th. Of course, I was forced to postpone the delivery date. The hurricane
hit and Waveland was destroyed; our house totally gone. Part of me felt
like a failure because she wasn't there. She would have been hauled
out to sea; or maybe done her job. But she is safe.
I have felt much pain and confusion over this. What did it mean to me?
I have meditated many times and cried many tears.
Why have I seen her so clearly? Why has she named herself "the
Guardian"? Why had she been missing from her spot of guarding ...
a day late and a dollar short I would say many times, trying to make
a joke. No joke for sure.
These thoughts have filled me since this awful, tragic hurricane. Haunting
my soul...dampening my spirit. I know this storm was bigger than my
sculpture piece could change. I don't kid myself. I also know how she
had come to life for me ... how she was revealed to me. I believe she
was sent to me, to us, by divine seeding. So I have spent many hours
thinking, meditating, dreaming, asking God what does this all mean?
As I have pondered, a ray of light came to mind. A hope was born. I
know for sure now that she was always meant to have this story. This
is her tale. Part of her tale was to be a day late, to be a NEW hope,
a new guardian. I have such intense feelings of gratitude to have been
sent this treasure; this treasure of beauty conceived before tragedy
but born into it. She has birthed within me a deep love for God, which
was always growing, but now had this additional beauty to be my light,
my hope, my guardian.
She is a symbol of hope for my future, our future. The sculpture I worked
on for two years was my guardian. She was guiding my ability; guidance
we all need to reach into this hope that we can go back, that our Gulf
Coast can return and remain.
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We
built the pedestal by pouring concrete into a construction form
—
a large tube used for bridges or projects of the like.
On April 14th, 2006, we installed the pedestal in my front garden.
Click
to The Guardian's arrival photos.
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She came to New Orleans and was installed at the entrance
to our home in April 2006. Here she begins her symbolic protection which
we need now more than ever. She will be guardian of our hope here in
New Orleans, dreams of our better future. "We are the stuff as
dreams are made of." The world and our Gulf Coast are in need of
guarding. She cannot protect all ... but she can inspire that sense
within us.
My sculpture is about my own private and personal spiritual journey.
As such, I have found it difficult to share at these deep levels. I
felt that somehow to develop marketing strategies and illuminate these
personal growth experiences would in some way be disrespectful. I have
done my creative work for the pure joy of growing with the gifts divinely
given to me, my creative skills, and my sculpture talents. I now understand
that I create as my gift back, to God, to others, to my world. My work
will never be about the pain and suffering. While those are extremely
valuable tools of growth, my work will always express the beauty that
we have ... that has been given us. It is time now to allow myself to
shine with this beauty from the depth of my soul, spirit and from God...in
an effort to share with others the beauty that God has given me to see.
Let this beautiful piece shine as MY HOPE ... and whoever else wants
her to shine as theirs.
Many encourage me to show and sell my art. I see it as phases of my
life, not commercial production. She is a reflection of what I believe
and how I feel .I am supposed to share "The Guardian." This
is the path of my spiritual journey at present. Let's see where it will
take me. — 31 March 2006
The Guardian:
Six feet high, five feet wide; two and a half feet deep.
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